


confectionery

by wanderNavi



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Gen, I cannot let this go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-23 01:10:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23336677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderNavi/pseuds/wanderNavi
Summary: “Wait,” Robin says with the scandalized epiphany of a pigeon spotting the bucketful of waste heading towards its perch, “Does the Exalt eat her oranges unpeeled, is that where you learned this habit from?”
Relationships: Chrom & My Unit | Reflet | Robin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 46





	confectionery

**Author's Note:**

> It’s just two talking heads. This is very silly.

“I hate you.”

“ _Look_ , the rinds are still edible as long as you wash the fruit beforehand and –”

“ _I hate you_ and I hate this about you.”

“— _and_ it’s literally peeled off and stored for baked goods. We have whole jars of dried and candied rinds in the castle pantries, I’ve seen them, I’ve ran into them and knocked them off the shelves and onto my head, _it’s edible_.”

“That’s not even the first issue at hand and you know it!” screams Robin because Naga save him from this fool who doesn’t see the problem of just grabbing an orange, polishing its surface like an apple and then chomping away without any fanfare, patently ridiculous because – “Are we ignoring the pith? Does the pith just completely disappear when an orange hits your magical hands and enters your magical mouth? The bakers don’t keep the pith for a reason, _okay_ –”

“ _It’s still edible_ , it’s just a different texture. Are you suggesting I just carry peels around in my hand or my pocket when I’m done having a snack while on a walk?” Chrom asks, incredulous from atop his horse which is the only saving grace for why Robin hasn’t smacked him with a thunder spell yet over the course of the last ten minutes. The beast doesn’t deserve further harassment. “I’m not going to do that. This way there’s nothing left over.”

Robin barely manages to not fall off his horse as he flings his hands in the air with exasperation, reins long forgotten. They’ve both scared away all the birds in the vicinity fifteen minutes ago. “Did no one ever teach you how wrong you are? Have you never –”

“ _Hey_.”

“—seen anyone eating an orange properly before – _you have_. You were at the banquet last month, there was a whole _mountain_ of citrus – _all of which you peel, then eat_ – and there were several dozen people there who I know _don’t eat unpeeled oranges_. I was even siting right next to you!”

Chrom groans and starts trying to spur his horse faster through the woods towards the fields he can see through the trees. Once he hits open hills, he can escape. “How long are you going to be on my case about this?”

“Wait,” Robin says with the scandalized epiphany of a pigeon spotting the bucketful of waste heading towards its perch, “Does the _Exalt_ eat her oranges unpeeled, is that where you learned this habit from?”

“No, leave Emmeryn out of this, Naga’s sake –”

“But back on the pith issues –”

“ _No_ , we’re _not_ going back on about the pith –”

“—fuck you, yes we are, how do you stand it? There’s perfectly good orange flesh just a half-minute’s work away, where you don’t have to chew through a centimeter of pulp fiber –”

“Robin, you’re exaggerating.”

“Not really – how do you stand it?”

Two hundred more feet to freedom. “Okay, fine, but the ratio of the flesh to the pith is substantial and it can be ignored. It’s fine, I just like it this way, okay?”

Robin catches up behind him, still yelling, “No it’s not and you know it. Don’t tell me you eat all citrus like this. Do you also eat lemons like this?”

“Oh, would you look at that, we’ve reached the fields, race you back to camp.” Chrom, who _has_ been holding onto his horse’s reins and paying attention, immediately takes off in a gallop.

“You _do_ , get back here, I’m not done yet _, Chrom_.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is where I confess that I was so fixated on this ridiculous action that I once actually took a bite out of an unpeeled orange just to see what would happen.


End file.
